The feeling of the unknown can be overwhelmingly frightening, especially when it seems to have no end. It lurks in the shadows, making its presence known in the quiet of the night, causing unease and restlessness. It manifests in simple yet unsettling ways, such as the nagging uncertainty of what the next day holds or the doubt of whether the stove was left on. These seemingly mundane uncertainties can quickly spiral into anxious thoughts and feelings.
The unknown can take on sinister and complex natures, leaving one grappling with profound questions and uncertainties. It raises existential queries about the nature of reality and the passage of time. The disorienting experience of retracing one's steps, only to find gaps in memory and a disconnection from one's own experiences, can be deeply disconcerting.
Moreover, the unknown can manifest in physical and mental health challenges, such as the insidious onset of Alzheimer's disease. The gradual erosion of short-term memory and the disconcerting blurring of emotions without a clear context can be harbingers of a frightening journey into the depths of the unknown.
Ultimately, the unknown is a vast and multifaceted realm that encompasses both the mundane and the profound, the everyday uncertainties and the existential mysteries that lie beyond our comprehension. It serves as a reminder of the fragility of our understanding of the world and the inherent unpredictability of life itself.
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The unknown is sometimes an intentional game, but truthfully, after living the last 7-9 years of constant inconsistencies, I can say that in our journey, nothing is further from the truth. There are no hidden games or manipulation in our path. Short-term memory can be a blessing and a curse depending on the subject.
Sometimes a topic will last days and days before the loop creates a reset, and the vague memories of discontent are lost to the imagination of maybe... and depending on the topic, rearranged to best fit the feelings. If the importance is in the topic but the subject matter is too disturbing, it could become lost in the confusion of details and regurgitate in different forms to try and connect the dots.
Clear path or hazy fog, perception, and feelings guide the result. Nothing more, never less.
Short-term memory loss in our journey is all about logic and feelings. Strong verbal skills and a desire to connect to other humans have blessed us in life as we know it today, instead of the past being the past. The past is our future.
Majoring in English and minoring in psychology was interrupted by a 6-week hiatus caused by the college closing due to civil unrest and riots, preventing the attainment of the coveted piece of paper. Life's journey takes unexpected turns with the responsibilities of marriage, children, and consequential life choices, shaping outcomes positively or negatively depending on one's current perspective.
The element of the unknown plays a crucial role in navigating real-time challenges. Even when left unspoken, the unknown remains daunting. A cheerful facade conceals uncertainties, while adhering to a regular routine alleviates fears, fostering a sense of control and self-reliance.
This structured approach to daily life offers a comforting semblance of normalcy amidst the unsettling fear of the unknown. The ambiguity persists because life is often a complex interplay of layered uncertainties.
Why does it feel so obscure? Because life, at times, comprises a multitude of intricate and enigmatic unknowns.
It's like that 1000-piece puzzle:
All the pieces are in a pile on the table.
The picture on the box is beautiful.
Some key pieces have not been found yet.
I need the key pieces to create the picture.
I'm getting frustrated.
Why won't the pieces fit?
Fuck it, the puzzle goes back in the box for someone else to figure out.
Todays puzzle is 75% completed with another 15% coming with a quickness. The questions out way the answers and the answers are so complicated.
I don't know how to feel.
I don't know how to change that.
I don't know how to feel.
I'm not sure I wanna try.
Someday I just might.
There is a song that is currently playing that is stuck in my head. The words above are how they sound in my head when that song plays.
When did it end~ all the enjoyment... I don't know how I feel. Someday I might. I think I forgot how to be happy, something I'm not but someday I can be. Something I'm made for...
I didn't get what I wanted, but I'm getting what I need.
There is quite a difference if you walk the road with someone dear. The journey is always worth it no matter the difficulty and chaos each day, hour, minute, or month brings.
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