Disclaimer: I am super open to all conversations based on knowledge and open communication. Being open-minded to both points of view in conflict resolution.
However, I do have a salty opinion on a direct question going unanswered due to a closed-minded view of a one-sided opinion based on someone else's story that is full of half-baked opinions, entertained solely for the gain of one narrative based on an incomplete perception of facts.
When someone begins a sentence with "Not to be rude..." or "Not to be ugly...", it implies that they are aware of the possible negative impact of their words. Similarly, making this statement with the possibility of starting a conversation after years of no contact raises the question of how much one truly understands the complexities of daily life. What this actually is:
'I don't like...' bla bla bla.
'Change,' blah de bla...
'Fix,' Bla da da...
There is never a clear answer when asked for specifics on what is disliked or unacceptable. One particularly frustrating behavior is ghosting, which involves abruptly ending a conversation and trying to control the narrative. I have noticed that people have become quite skilled at remaining silent. Over the past few years, I have encountered many instances where direct questions go unanswered, and if pressed, individuals disappear. The reason behind this behavior is quite intriguing. It is usually a matter of opinion or perception and not necessarily based on truth or fact.
I want to address some things that plague me. I know I'll never have (dare to prove me wrong???) an actual positive conversation based on accurate information or have a valuable outcome for my group of others. Still, I would like to put this into the ether of the planetary clouds and atmosphere...(Please prove me wrong! Start the dialogue)
What is my end game?
What do I gain?
What is my purpose?
What is the fucking benefit?
What EXACTLY did I do wrong?
Tell me!!!
I would have listened to the others if a conversation had included this perspective! Hell, I would still have the conversation with the ones they gossip to or even the ones who think they know what they DON'T KNOW.
Rules
You call them rules, and every professional who assists me calls them boundaries. I'm reasonably educated and can assume the 'rules' mentioned by someone I haven't seen in over 15 years, have no connection to except other extended relationships, and only know what they see/read, troll, or gossip about something they don't know anything about... There is no link on any social media platform, yet they assume they know.
"Set boundaries to follow consistent routines and set schedules for less anxiety. We need to set a calm routine for now and the future."~ Dr.'s
Ain't no body gonna like this twist.....
Boundaries
Consistent routines: to be followed by all in the present and future calm environment for the good of THE ONE.
Calm Environment: Creates a more prolonged, healthier, and perceived independence and control TO THE ONE.
The One: THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS AN OPINION. The plan was laid out long, long ago before The Cottage was built.
The Cottage: The place built with the future in mind, planned out, with many what-ifs and maybe's.
Anxiety: Starts and ends with the others.
The Others: the peeps that don't like the plan, the boundaries, the consistent routines, schedules to follow, and the realities of how all this plays out long term.
Let me be the plain blunt bitch that is expected of me:
Question me. ~I'll answer. ~I do not promise to sugarcoat or soften.
Chat with me.~I'll respond.~ I will keep to the plan and the boundaries.
Question me. ~I'll still answer.~ All the above.
Please chat with me. ~ I'll still chat.
Ad nauseum.
The night before, this blew up over a 1/2 bagel with a 'sliver' of cream cheese~~ toasted to just the right color brown so that it is neither under nor over~~ fucking baked to toasted perfection~~ for The ONE:
who has a 103 temp,
5 new pills to go with the dreaded antibiotic for pneumonia
and a possible hospital stay if we can't get it under control.
Add to that a child-like temper tantrum of epic clarity of the NOW
with short-term memory
and no medication remains in the human body system long enough to help,
including the memory pills
and anti-anxiety to help with all the other crap .....
...................................................................................................that started over a FUCKING 1/2 BAGEL AND A MEDICAL ILLNESS WREAKING HAVOC.
But my BOUNDARIES, your RULES are a "HELL NO?"
Your "HELL NO" comes out of nowhere without content or context. We tried it The Others' way. We alone suffered and still suffer the consequences without structure and boundaries. You do not know my hour-to-hour life or the fundamental changes I have made for the one: Solely Responsible for Alzheimer's Caregiving in my home to fulfill the PROMISE made so many moons ago.
Rules and The Others are this:
Boundaries and consistency with a structured schedule to keep a calm environment in the House of Caregiving.
Judge: Live in my shoes.
Assume: I'm likely actually to answer the more challenging questions.
Ghost: Don't be a coward like the others; ask the tricky question.
Learn: I'm a wealth of information on how all this goes down.
Hell~I'm currently reliving my own life through the eyes and perception of the one—each and every day, sometimes multiple times an hour. #walkinmyshoes
Create chaos in this House of Caregiving;
I will SHUT YOU DOWN.
Play the game within the boundaries of this quarter:
I'll be as flexible as the disease will allow ~in the phases we are in.
If you want the conversation, let's have the conversation!
But if you want to judge me without a Dialogue... well, that doesn't happen this year.
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