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Tips for Balancing Life as a Caregiver in Alzheimer's Home Care~2024

Updated: Sep 14



Watching the changes in Alzheimer's care is a profound and multifaceted experience that goes beyond mere observation. It involves a deep emotional involvement and a heightened sense of empathy towards those directly affected by the disease. Living through the daily challenges and triumphs of caring for someone with Alzheimer's provides a firsthand understanding of the complexities and nuances that come with it.


Being actively involved in the day-to-day care of a loved one with Alzheimer's brings a unique perspective that outsiders may not fully comprehend. It instills a sense of duty and a relentless pursuit of peace and dignity in the face of adversity.


Those who have not walked this path may struggle to grasp the true essence of Alzheimer's care, relying instead on superficial knowledge or misconceptions perpetuated by media and hearsay. The gap between perception and reality widens, highlighting the importance of firsthand experience in truly understanding the intricacies of the journey.


The complexities of the human brain and its profound connection to one's essence result in each Alzheimer's voyage being deeply personal and distinctive. Although there may be shared elements among these journeys, the uniqueness of every individual's mind shapes a particular narrative that resists generalizations.


While I possess extensive knowledge about this journey, I cannot claim to comprehend the challenges faced by caregivers dealing with Frontal Lobe or Lewy Body dementia. I lack firsthand experience and only have an understanding that does not align with our current situation.


I have a partial understanding of the path we are currently traversing, fully aware that further changes lie ahead, which demand strength. Navigating adulthood is difficult.


Deliberate disruptions are not conducive to our journey or our present course, and will not be accepted.






Why the hard line? Because it's best for our journey at this facility created for one: The one I know better than most. The lines are drawn because it is for quality of life and SAFTEY!!!!!


Get on my page, I'm not the problem ~ I'm resolved and capable and comprehending my role.



Understanding the path we are on is like deciphering a complex map filled with twists and turns, uncertainty lurking around every corner. The journey through adulthood is a formidable challenge, a constant test of our resilience and adaptability in the face of ever-changing circumstances. Disruptions, whether intentional or not, can derail our progress and throw us off course. It is crucial to maintain a steady trajectory, avoiding unnecessary obstacles that could hinder our growth and development. Straying from the path we have set for ourselves can lead to setbacks that may be difficult to overcome. The firm stance taken is not out of stubbornness but out of a deep-seated commitment to ensuring the best possible outcome for all involved. This facility, designed with a specific purpose in mind, demands strict adherence to its guidelines for the sake of everyone's well-being and safety. By aligning ourselves with the established rules and regulations, we pave the way for a smoother journey toward our goals. It is not about being inflexible, but about upholding standards that have been put in place to safeguard our collective interests. In this intricate dance of life, it is essential to find harmony between individual autonomy and communal responsibility. Each of us plays a unique role in shaping the course of our journey, and by understanding and embracing our responsibilities, we can contribute positively to the collective effort.







Honesty comes with intricate and controlled chaos.

~The omission of details is permissible depending on how far down the rabbit hole of truth you are capable of.

~What isn't an option is the intentional omission of challenges easily avoided with communication and the need for transparency. Omit the non-important or the unchangeable. Don't lie. A lie is never a good option, as it creates confusion in the inner workings of the past and inherent knowledge of the subject; the beginning, the middle, and the current do not align in a blatant lie.

~Deflection is also very important to keep from having a full-blown fallout, but it is not okay to change the narrative to fit one's opinions ~ facts are essential and consistent, when the facts don't fit the memory of the past, we are all in trouble.




This diatribe comes after several weeks of inconsistencies and ‘coincidences’. I don’t believe in coincidences, I work on a few key elements:

~ what I know.

~ the feelings and emotions present.

~ the knowledge that if the whole story doesn’t match, something doesn’t add up - we're in trouble!


This is, of course, a very small list of importance, but it’s a good start for how each day works here. Small town integrity, ‘don’t’ embarrass the elders. Morals and ethics of the past decades are ever present in the mind and the emotions. The ‘Grands’ instilled this.

Know the expectations of the audience of one and the ability to tolerate bullshit - that filter is gone. Most likely never be present again.

Three days in for all the meds to help keep pneumonia and RSV away. Damn, the days are long with the outside world complicating the safe bubble of perceived independence and controlled chaos.

Let’s revisit a few core elements needed for success:

Communication.

Logic.

Being of sound mind.

Patience.

Kindness.

Grace.

Understanding that not all things can be understood!

The knowledge that what is said is not always current!

Feelings are key - doesn’t matter intent, they are here, present, and now have to be handled with care.

“There is no privacy except in bathroom needs.”

Time is not on our side.

Ego and pride don’t work here.

Their stupidity is now my problem.

I work for one. The one is the only importance. The end.

Quality of life and safety. If this is something they can’t see, or understand- they can’t be the inner circle.

Fuck, how many years does it take for the outside world to start making helpful to the inner circle of care given for the health and safety of the most important role anyone will possibly take on without gain.

What is my gain?!? Exhaustion? Stress? Days repeating like ground fucking hogs day? Yay me!! Aren’t I fucking blessed for all this gain! The financial burden and the emotional chaos are based on outsiders not liking the title of ‘others’.

I had no problem with the text sent ~ completely out of my control and without my knowledge as I wasn’t even on the property at that moment.

“To quote my favorite phycologist- grow the fuck up’

To this day, I don’t know who was being quoted but I do know the recipients and I know enough of the challenges to know a few things for fact:


I’m not their problem.

The quote is masterful.

It belongs to anyone trying to create chaos intentionally due to uneducated knowledge based on nothing but opinions and theories of those who are never around but yet have a lot to say on a journey they can’t comprehend.


This weekend, paid help quit. Something happened 5 ~ ish weeks ago and as much as I tried, we could not return to what was. I do not have enough knowledge of what that ‘something’ is as one participant only remembers the feels left and the others either don’t share, block for their control, or don’t want to share… nasty business when short-term memory is used as a weapon.


Here is the warning and promise ( no threats here)


Communication with me is the only way.

Third-party conversations are so done.

If they can't be kind and have patience, get the fuck out of the way.

Using short-term memory as a weapon, I will make them wish they never met me. ( yes, some of the readers already wish that, but as they still stalk me and sometimes even use a VPN for kicks and giggles~ it’s worth sharing)


When ‘professionals’ don't understand, how will anyone else?!?











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